you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need to wash the frat house off of me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
