you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
