But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
