nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
