i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
