Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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