at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
