At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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