The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
