I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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