haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
