Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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