I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this beer tastes like vomit already
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
