I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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