I think im going to throw up on grandma
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
