i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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