Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
