i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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