I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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