did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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