I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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