He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
