lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
