He asked me if I "almost moaned"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
