Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
