I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
