Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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