at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
