we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
