right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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