You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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