too bad you live with your parents still
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
