We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
