there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
