I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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