Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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