everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
