I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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