if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
