my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
