"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize