just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
