dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
