I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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