Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
