billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize