y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
