So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All the doctor said was why
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
