plz talk dirty to me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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