I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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