I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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