Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
