i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
