gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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