i jhust puked up my retainher.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
