Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
