You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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