ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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