he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
