wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize