Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
