he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just google imaged poop.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
