I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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