are you still at the devil's house?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
