Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
