We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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