these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
