Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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